How to get home in London after the last train

The last train has gone. You are somewhere between Zone 1 and home, the phone is on nineteen percent, and the app is quoting a number that makes your eyes water.

This is a solvable problem, and it is solvable cheaply. London has the largest night bus network in Europe and it runs every night of the week, unlike the Night Tube. Most people forget it exists.

Option 1: The night bus. Almost always the right answer.

Two kinds of bus run through the night:

• N-prefixed routes — the N29, N5, N15 and so on. These are night versions of a daytime route, sometimes following a slightly different path.
• 24-hour routes — around fifty ordinary numbered routes that simply never stop. No N, no fuss.

What it costs. A single flat fare, in the region of £1.75 at the time of writing, no matter how far you go. Confirm the current figure on tfl.gov.uk/fares.

The Hopper. Change buses as many times as you like within about an hour and you still pay one fare. This matters enormously at night, because night routes almost all funnel through central London. Two buses and a change at Trafalgar Square costs the same as one bus.

The catch. Frequency. A night route might come every fifteen to thirty minutes. Check live arrivals rather than guessing.

Cash does not work. London buses have not taken cash since 2014. You need a contactless card, a phone, or an Oyster with credit on it. There is no way to buy a ticket on board.

Option 2: A black cab

The licensed black taxi is the only vehicle you can legally flag down in the street. The driver must take you anywhere within roughly twelve miles of the pickup point, and the meter is set by law, not by demand.

Night work runs on a higher tariff band than daytime, and there is a further step up in the deep small hours and on public holidays. So it is not cheap — but it is predictable, and it does not surge because a concert ended.

Two practical points:

• The yellow “TAXI” light on the roof is lit when it is available. Dark light, not available, do not wave.
• Card payment is mandatory in London black cabs. If a driver claims the machine is broken, that is their problem to solve, not yours.

Option 3: A minicab, booked through an app

Private hire vehicles — Uber, Bolt and the rest — must be booked in advance. They cannot legally pick you up off the street.

This is where the money goes at night. Surge pricing at closing time, at station exits, and after big events can multiply the fare several times over. Two things help:

• Walk five minutes away from the venue or station before you book. Surge is geographic. Stepping out of the hot zone can visibly drop the price.
• Wait twenty minutes. Post-event surge decays fast. A bus shelter and twenty minutes is often worth £25.

Option 4: Anything with two wheels

Santander Cycles — the docked hire bikes — run around the clock. You unlock at the dock or in the app. For a two-mile hop across a quiet central London at 2am, nothing beats it for value.

Dockless e-bikes and e-scooters from the various rental operators also run at night, with the usual caveats: check the parking rules before you abandon it, or you will be charged.

Ride carefully. Late-night roads have fewer cars, but a higher proportion of the drivers still out are in a hurry.

Option 5: Walk

Look at the actual distance before dismissing this. Central London stations are frequently ten to fifteen minutes apart on foot. Leicester Square to Covent Garden is about a four-minute walk and people genuinely queue for a train between them.

Walk on lit main roads, not the clever shortcut through the estate. Keep the phone in your pocket rather than in your hand.

Choosing, in ten seconds

• Under a mile? Walk.
• One to three miles, central? Hire bike, or a night bus.
• Across London, and you are not in a hurry? Night bus, plus one change on the Hopper fare.
• Friday or Saturday, and your line is one of the five? Night Tube.
• Late, unsafe area, or carrying too much? Black cab. Pay the money.
• App quoting a fortune? Walk five minutes, re-check, then decide.

Two things worth doing before you need them

Add a contactless card to your phone wallet, so a dead phone battery is a problem and not a catastrophe. And take a genuine look at which night bus passes near your home. Most Londoners have one and could not name it.